So, my thoughts for the day:

I know my due date isn't until May. But on the weekends, I've been working on my projects. By projects I mean, what I'm gonna give my Ap's to give to my son.

Before moving down here my Mom & I bought a wooden keepsake box that I wanna engrave with the name my AP's choose. I am gonna fill it with little knick-knacks about me. I'm hoping to but materials to make him a blanket.

But most importantly, I am going to tape record a letter for him. I was going to just write a letter, but my Mom Convinced me to record what I wanna say in the letter because he'll actually get to hear my voice & feel the emotions I'm going through. But... what do I say?

I mean... I can explain me & my life. I can try to explain to him my reasons for doing adoption & the process I'm going through to choose his parents. But there's one thing I can't explain...

How do you tell someone how much you love them on a recording? I've always heard that you don't know true love until you hold your child in your arms for the first time...

Just because I am doing adoption it doesn't mean I'm going to love him any less. He's part of me. He's my flesh & blood. I may not be with him during his life, but he's a;ways going to be a part of my life. He's not even born yet , but I'm getting attached... it's such a unique feeling when he kicks me or hiccups. It's like a daily occurrence... I wonder if you miss it once the baby is born...

But back to the point. I guess you just gotta try your hardest to make sure your child knows you love them. And hope that the AP's tell the child about you &your love for them.