Welcome to the World

Jake Lee*

7.15lbs 20.5 inches

This morning was kinda slow I didn't feel anything at all. I had my epidural before Dr. Irwin broke my water. The epidural worked wonders. I honestly didn't fell anything until around 4:15pm, when I got the sudden urge to use the restroom. Mary said it was the baby;s head putting pressure on my pelvis. Suzy checked me & sure enough I was dilated to a 10. She went to get Dr. Irwin... Suzy & Lynn made start doing practice pushes at 4:30pm. I did & she told me to stop, but I couldn't , sure enough Dr. Irwin got there & I pushed three times & then I heard the most beautiful baby's cry. Jake* was born at exactly 5:00pm. Only 30 minutes of pushing? not bad! It really didn't even hurt to much. Getting stitched up was worse. But I didn't care about the pain... I was too focused on the beautiful baby boy I just brought into the world. Absolutely amazing. i only got to hold him for a minute because he was born with slight fever. But I tell you what, that one minute was the most magical moment of my life. Getting to meet the little man who's been inside me for the past 9 months, I can't explain it. I never knew you could love someone so much. Holding him for that one minute reassured me I'm doing the right thing for him. I can't give this little one the life he deserves, but his soon to be parents can. Well, I'm gonna call the parents, boyfriend, B&S*, etc.

He is so beautiful. It seemed like forever until Jake* was able to be with me again. At least it gave me time to eat my Wendy's that Mary got me. Haha. I got to talk to mom & dad. and Shane*... but he aggravates me. I don't care what guy Jake* looks like. He's beautiful, and I love him regardless of who his father is or isn't. I moved rooms. I'm in a nicer recovery room. Jake* was finally able to join me shortly after 9pm. He was all wrapped up in his blankets with a white hat on. But her was wide awake. His little toes were poking out of the blanket, which gave me a chance to look at his big feet the Dr.Irwin proclaimed he had when he was born. and holy cow , they are huge. I just sat there holding him as close as I could. I think I just stared at him. It's just so hard to believe he was the little guy kicking me from the inside. And it's hard to come to terms that I only have a week with him. I'm already telling him how much I love him & why I'm sharing him with Stacy & Brent *. I know it's impossible, but I like to believe that one day Jake* will be able to remember the time we spent together. :(

I had to call Stacy & Brent * and tell them about Jake*. I refused to let their caseworker call them. Stacy answered, I told her all about my basically painless birthing process. I shared how beautiful Jake* was and I told her that he's already a happy baby with a story about how 3 minutes after being born & I was handing him back to the nurse, he smiled at eh two of us. She said it's because he's a special boy. She also said that her and Brent* are proud of me. That felt good to hear.

After talking with them I needed to say my good nights to Jake*. I'm so tired.