So, I'm gonna admit it... I hate the weekends!!

Yes at least they have outings planned, but when you're at the dorm, it's so damn boring. I mean 90% of the girls go home for the weekend, so it's kinda quiet. Everyone keeps to themselves, so it makes for a very boring & long 2 1/2 days. Britt*leaves me...:( it's nice to have the room to myself & actually get some sleep without being woken up by Britt's* crazy sleeping schedule. But at the same time it makes me think about too much.

What am I thinking about?

...why I can't raise my son... I want him to be with me! Shane* offered to help me raise him, but I know I can't rely on him. We may not be together forever & I can't put that burden on him. At the same time , I know I need to finish school to make a better life for myself. And I don't want to be working 3 minimum wage jobs, while being on welfare & living with my parents. That's no life for my son or me. I KNOW THAT. But I still wish he could stay with me. When I'm in public & see younger girls who are moms, it makes me wonder why I can't do it. It hurts.

But everyone keeps telling me I am doing the right thing for my son. I'm doing what I need to do to give him the best chance of a life.

...I really hope he'll understand why I chose to do adoption...